Rethinking Feedback: Does It Actually Work?

Feedback is widely considered essential for growth. In leadership development, coaching, and workplace culture, it’s often treated like a default tool—something we owe people if we care about their success.

But what if the way we give feedback doesn’t actually help?

That was a realization I had years ago while leading yoga teacher trainings. Part of my role was to give critical feedback to trainees—and teach them how to give and receive feedback with one another.

At the time, it felt like the right thing to do. But looking back, I can see those sessions did more harm than good.

Some trainees disengaged. Some “quiet quit” the training entirely. Many stopped teaching after graduation. And what I thought was helping them grow… was actually shutting them down.

So what went wrong?

Two Biases That Make Feedback Tricky

Imagine you're leading a training and a student shows up late. You might suppress your frustration, but start forming a story: They’re disorganized. They don’t take this seriously.

That’s the Fundamental Attribution Error—our tendency to explain other people’s behavior by assuming it reflects their character, rather than considering the situation they might be in.

Now flip it. You show up late. In your mind, it’s because of traffic. Or your kid got sick. Or your last meeting ran long.

That’s the Actor-Observer Bias in action—we give ourselves the benefit of the doubt, while judging others more harshly.

And that’s where feedback gets tricky.

When we evaluate someone’s behavior through these biased lenses, we often mistake a single moment for a pattern—and a pattern for a personality flaw.

That leads to feedback that doesn’t actually help. Why?

• Our observations are usually based on limited data.

• We’re wired to notice what’s wrong more than what’s working.

• And feedback aimed at personality rarely lands—because by around age 25, most of our core traits are pretty stable.

What the Research Says About Feedback + Engagement

The Gallup Organization studied this at scale—surveying tens of thousands of employees to understand how different kinds of feedback affect engagement.

They looked at three groups:

• People who received no feedback

• People who received negative feedback

• People who received positive, strengths-based feedback

Here’s what they found:

✅ Being ignored is the most damaging thing a manager can do.
✅ Negative feedback is better than no feedback at all.
✅ But the biggest boost in engagement? Comes from positive feedback focused on strengths.

That insight changes everything. It suggests that what people really need isn’t feedback in the traditional sense… It’s attention.

When people feel seen, they engage.
When they’re ignored, they check out.
And when they’re recognized specifically for what they do well—they thrive.

It’s Not About Being Nice. It’s About Fueling Growth.

Of course, there are times when critical input is necessary. If someone is learning a new skill, trying to prevent failure, or working toward proficiency, pointing out what’s not working can help.

But if your goal is to support long-term performance, engagement, and excellence? The data is clear: recognition works better.

Especially when that recognition is grounded in someone’s natural talents and strengths.

How to Give Recognition That Actually Lands

Here’s how to start practicing strengths-based recognition with your team:

1. Pay attention to what’s going well.

Our brains are wired to notice problems. You have to actively train yourself to look for wins, effort, or improvement—and call it out when you see it.

2. Get curious about strengths.

Invite your team to take the CliftonStrengths® assessment. Then, talk to them. Ask what energizes them, how they like to be recognized, and what they’re most proud of. You’ll gain a deeper sense of what their best looks like.

3. Personalize your recognition.

According to Gallup’s research across 10,000 workgroups, the most meaningful recognition is tailored to the recipient’s preferences—not the giver’s. That’s why knowing their strengths and values matters.

4. Be specific.

“Nice job!” is fine. But “The way you handled that client call showed your Strategic and Relator talents—I could see how you were thinking ahead while also making them feel at ease” is better. It builds trust, confidence, and clarity.

The Shift That Changes Everything

So yes—feedback can be helpful.

But what people really need is to feel seen, supported, and called forward—not judged, fixed, or evaluated.

That’s the kind of environment where growth actually happens. That’s what keeps people engaged and motivated to do their best work. And that’s what strengths-based leadership creates.

Discover Your Strength at Giving Recognition

If you're a leader or coach who wants to get better at recognizing the strengths in others—and helping your people grow without burning them out—I’d love to help.

👉 Click here to book a 30-minute discovery call

Let’s explore how you can use strengths-based insight to lead with more clarity, connection, and impact.